Rap battles
by iheartsonic
Summary: A series of ERB-style rap battles starring Barbie characters.
1. Blair vs Dame Devin

**Hi FF! So, I was watching some iComedy rap battles **(ah...the advantages of speaking Romanian)** on YouTube a few days ago and I was thinking "Hmm...what if everyone's favourite Barbie characters were to rap battle against their arch-enemies? Or each other?". So, welcome to my first non-crossover story so far. Well, maybe not really a story, but...you get it. Don't forget to review :3**

* * *

Dame Devin:

_Do you think you belong here? Well, think again_

_If royality was a silk handkerchief, you'd be a stain!_

_No one knows the royal life like I do_

_You're such a failure, Blair, I bet you were raised in a zoo_

_I've seen hippos with more grace and monkeys with more poise_

_So give up, lottery girl, and go back to your toys_

Blair:

_Who do you think you are, with your clown hair and fake accent?_

_Nobody can make me feel inferior without my consent_

_You say lottery girls are stains? Let me tell you something too_

_Rapping's not __a game for grannies or for hypocrites like you_

_You were a lottery girl like me, you thought I wouldn't find out?_

_The only difference is that I'll succeed in this, no doubt!_

Dame Devin:

_You'll succeed, huh? Not if you get expelled!_

_Try the Court Jester College, I'm sure you'd excel_

_My daughter will be princess and the kingdom will be mine_

_We'll bulldoze your house while you watch and whine_

_But don't worry, you can pack up and move out_

_Oh, sorry, I forgot, you can't_

_That's it, I win, there's no way you'll make it through_

_I eliminated the Queen and now I'm finished with you too_

Blair:

_Rule the kingdom as mother and daughter, that's what you're trying to do?_

_Well, I'm sorry, Dame Vader, but the Force is not with you_

_Delancy's on my side and so is Gardania's Crown_

_That's right, I'm the true heir and your plan is going down_

_So you killed the Queen? I hope you've had your fun_

_'Caruse you're going straight to jail faster than Sonic can run_

_Now it's really over and you got what you deserved_

_But hey, I used to be a waitress, you should've known you'd get served_

* * *

**WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!**

**No, really, you decide. Just leave your suggestions in a review and I'll see if I have any ideas for them.**

**And yes, I had to put Sonic and Star Wars references in this one. Who knows what references will be in the next one? Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter? None? You'll never know...at least until the next battle.**


	2. Annelise and Erika vs Tori and Keira

**Hello FanFiction! here's another Barbie rap battle for my fans! Oh, but first...**

**Blair: "I'd like to apologise to Sonic the Hedgehog for implying that anything can possibly be faster than him. He's so fast that he once turned off the light in his room and got in bed before the room was dark. He's so fast he can run around the planet and smack himself in the back of the head, and then not see what hit him. He's so fast-"**

**We got it, Blair. You can get back to your Sonic fangirling so I can get back to mine. Uhh...I mean...enjoy! :3**

***Blair runs to her room to cuddle her Sonic plushie***

**I couldn't think of anything for Serafina and Wolfie vs the dogs from The Princess and the Popstar, but how about Annelise and Erika vs Tori and Keira? I bet they have a lot to tell each other :3 This is basically supposed to represent old Barbie films vs new Barbie films**

* * *

Annelise:

_What's this, some kind of mirror? Hold on, we're not that ugly_

_Is it some kind of joke? 'cause I don't think it's funny_

_Just who are you? Are you trying to steal our thrones?_

_You see, I'm in no mood for "Attack of the Clones"_

Erika:

_These rip-offs? Ignore them, that's what I do_

Annelise:

_They're making us look bad, don't you see it too?_

Erika:

_Yeah, well I guess we could teach them not to mess with us_

_Sit down, girls, we have some things to discuss_

Tori:

_Big words from you, grannies, we're new and improved_

_See those shelves over there? Your dolls got removed_

_Times are changing and our trend sells better than yours_

Keira:

_Now where's Madame Carp, haven't you got chores?_

_Oh, that's right, you got rid of her by chance_

_Before that king you were just a pauper who could barely dance_

Tori:

_Now you can leave us alone, run, crawl or fly_

_'cause when fans remember you, they start to cry_

Annelise:

_They cry because they miss us, we've been gone for ages_

Erika:

_Or maybe just because they're forced to see your faces_

Annelise:

_And your pink glitter everywhere just for the sake of it_

_You two are superficial, each and every bit_

Erika:

_You're the biggest shames in the Barbie bloodline_

_Even your name is a rip-off of mine_

_We teach moral values, you teach nothing, so you'd better take a class_

_First lesson: to be a princess is to know how to kick-_

Annelise: "Erika!"

Erika: "Sorry, I got carried away"

Tori:

_I know you think you're the best, but guess what, nobody cares_

_You're out, we're in, enough class, time for recess_

_We're the new thing, deal with it, that's how things are going now_

Keira:

_Now go and learn how to sing, maybe I'll teach you how_

_Even our music's better, it's got more rhythm, so don't whine_

_How many times should we tell you? It's our turn to shine_

_We make more films per year than all of yours combined_

_We're the future, if you don't see it then you're blind_

* * *

**I just took all the arguments about old vs new Barbie films I've ever seen and made them into lyrics. I guess it was pretty easy. Anyway, when I said to come up with ideas for rap battles, I didn't necessarily mean Barbie protagonist vs her nemesis. That's because I want to do more than just sum up each Barbie film in a rap battle. Hey, how about making things more interesting? How about suggestions for rap battles starring one Barbie character vs a character from any other fandom? Of course, assuming that I'm familiar with that fandom.**


End file.
